Two weeks ago I've met with my college friends from UST because we have a balikbayan friend abroad. Our stories revolved around one thing. My friend's cheating husband. How did she know? Nakita nya sa cellphone ng husband niya na may picture ng ibang girl. The girl happens to be an office mate of the husband. My friend was ok naman, pretty and we never expected it from her or sa husband niya na gagawin iyon.
I feel pity for my friend. The experienced changed her a lot. First, wala na raw siyang trust sa husband niya, kahit na anong gawin or panunuyo all are covered with doubt. She started checking the cellphone kapag tulog daw ang asawa niya, or she would check the pants for any receipts. Ayaw raw niya ng ganun, yung mga ginagawa niya but she can't help it. Everytime na makaka-rinig sya ng ringing tone, message or text, na-pra-praning siya. Iisipin niya galing sa girl.
Because she was angry may episodes pa raw siya na gusto niyang ubusin lahat ng savings nila ang she would spend it on make up, slimming pills, magpapa-marie france raw siya para magi siyang sexy. Naisip pa niyang magpa-rhinoplasty. Para lang siyang maging maganda.
Now, personally, when I heard that story kaya pala yung mga unhappy wives na mayaman ang asawa walang magawa sa pera nila. Minsan yung iba panay ang renovate ng house, tour around the world, maybe it is a defense mechanism or coping skills nila because of their cheating husband.
My friend was devastated. She was in pain and still hurting. Umiiyak paminsan-minsan, natutulala, hindi nya alam kung kanino sasabihin, baka raw kasi mag-worry ang parents niya kung sasabihin niya sa parents niya. Ayaw pa nga niyang ikuwento sa amin kasi baka raw hindi na mag-asawa yung mga single naming friends.
Now as a student of Psychology let me analyze the behavior. Wives who were cheated by their husbands can experience a great deal of stress and emotional breakdown. They will often think what went wrong. They will think or attribute it to themselves either they will say na may kulang sa kanila, napabayaan ang sarili, busy and a lot of reason. Wives who are contented or secured by their marriage partner and suddenly may incidence na ganito will have a lot to do for themselves. They have given their full trust to a person, siguro half or whole, pero kung whole, this is devastating, the wife has to start all over again to trust someone. Kung naka-recover siya, she might think of getting back or avenging herself, magpapaganda muna sila and then they too will look for partners to compensate the loss of love (maybe) from the husband. (Napanood ko sa Bad couple, korean series).
If trust is missing in a relationship, this may not work out unless there is a lot of sacrifices and undoing. If a wife naman is dependent on the husband, walang work, maraming anak, hirap sa buhay, eto yung mga nag-stay sa marriage dahil hindi nila kayang buhayin ang anak nila na wala ang asawa. The behavior of cheating will be tolerated or ignored.
May kilala nga ako eh, maraming naging anak sa labas ang asawa niya, pag naka buntis ang asawa niya kinukuha niya sa kanya ang mga anak ng asawa niya. siya ang nagpapalaki, para raw hindi na balikan ng asawa niya yung mga babae.
That is true, kaya lang siguro bumabalk ang mga cheating husbands dun sa mga babae nila is because maybe they want to see their children or gusto ng free sex.
Eh paano naman ang portrayal ng cheating husband sa movies or books? Parang tolerated pa nga eh or sometimes parang macho symbol pa pag may ibang babae ang husband and they will always blame it on the wife. Kawawa naman talaga ang mga babae.
So tama rin kaya ang theory ng iba na they really have to pass this stage? I would rather not agree. I still want to preserve my idea of true love, kagaya nila Romeo and Juliet,yung character sa movie na The Notebook at may mga iba pang wagas na pag-ibig..