I'm Happy and No One Knows It

I just had my ultrasound tonight and seeing my baby again takes all the tiredness and anxiety that has gripped me all week before the ultrasound. I'm in my 8th weeks and 5 days and my baby's heart is beating 177 beats per minute, growing strong and still hanging on. NO subchrionic bleeding either. I am so glad I cried on the way home, I look like a fool walking and crying so I just bought myself a cup of mocha ice cream and brought one for Cassie too. Irwin is having his Christmas party so he cannot go with me. I cannot explain my tear-stained face when I got home so I feigned a happy and talkative persona.

Now,I am blogging about it and sharing my happiness with anyone who care to read.

Maybe I am having those pregnancy partum but I am not depressed. I told myself to never read magazines on pregnancy again now it affected me again. So I will just rely on God and good reason for my condition and not based it on anything else.

On Aswang, Tiktik and Pregnancy

Do you believe in these creatures? Well I'd like to, because of what happened to me when I had a miscarriage. That was before when I learned the result of my APAS test. Weeks before I had my miscarriage, my husband told me that he heard loud wings flapping outside of our house and it was collaborated by my sis-in-law who was also pregnant at that time. Of course, I was scared, I couldn't sleep for a while, and I keep on watching the windows for some telltale sign of the "aswang".
My sis-in-law has a third eye and she could feel and see spirits. I believed her in some ways. So when I had the miscarriage and we couldn't explain it in any ways, we blamed the aswang. When I got home from the hospital, two days later, it was my sis-in-laws turn to bleed and was rushed to the hospital. Again, blame it on the aswang. So what did we do, we tried to contact spiritista and bought buntot page (stingray's tail) in Quiapo. I have two buntot page in my room located at the windows, my sis-in-law has a very large and long buntot page by her window. It is 5 feet long, and my father-in-law would swing it in the gates, windows and doors at 6pm everyday. That was when we were still blaming the aswang.
We have holy water and believe me, yes believe me, we have crushed garlic in our windows too! Until today because I am still in my two months period, supposedly I smell good to them.
Sometimes when I come home at night and I was the first to arrive in a dark house, I would hear the dogs doing their "ahooo" awoooo", and I will not get out of the house until someone arrives.
But now, when I know my APAS blood test result my miscarriage was caused by my blood clotting and cutting the air, nutrients and blood supply to my baby. If this continues, the baby will not survive three months that's why I have to take aspirin to help in some ways. Tomorrow, I am due for some more test and hopefully aspirin is all I need to keep my baby alive. Whew! so goodbye aswang, it never hurts to believe in you anyways.

Etcetera, Etcetera on PBB

Early morning blogging, what can I write? About how I dislike Mariel and glad that she is out of Pinoy Big Brother house? I am glad though that Baron is not evicted because I could see a potential in him to change. Gabby's entrance is not welcome also because it defies the rules, she should have no outside contact and if she leaves she should not return. She may have taken out of her system the experiences and the feeling of being a prisoner in Big Bro's house.
Mariel can be herself because she has no fear of getting evicted, she was the only happy person inside the house, maybe if the others could relax just like Mariel we could really see their true personality and if they do not care about winning the price, then we could really tell who they really are. But because I am teaching Social Psychology, and it is the study of the influence of the presence or perceived presence of people on an individual, you really could not tell their personality because it is a different situation, once they get out what you see inside is not necessarily their personality.

I remember Mariel, telling John that they should "date" after the show is over and see if what they are feeling are brought about the situation and see if what they feel is real. Usually, it does not last, it is brought about by loneliness and the feeling of limited freedom inside the house.

Change topic to marriage and relationship, so how about those extra-marital affairs by the husbands or wives? Are they influenced by the situation too? The answer is yes, one-night-stand, yes. The problem comes the morning after when you feel the responsibility sinking in. Maybe the married one's are waiting for some changes to happen in their relationship with their partner and if it improves maybe they will leave their mistress. For the one-night stand, sorry, it is not a start of a serious relationship, forget the girl, forget the man, pray you won't get pregnant, it is only brought about the situation. Cynical right?